Day 26 Coffee drinking freak

Because coffee is pretty much the only indulgence I have allowed myself during 7, and it's not even sugared or with cream, I am drinking A LOT of it.  So consequently I'm shaky, a tad irritable, and full of big ideas which end up in very looong text to friends and family.  Sorry friends and family.  I am just hoping that all of you will put all my text together and publish a book for me. I'll give you all the credit when Ellen has me on her show.
Today I have not wanted to cheat as bad. I made Claire hide the cookies ( cupcake cookies from HEB..yummm) so I couldn't see them, but somehow they got left out and well, you get the idea.  So basically I can't wait for 7 to be over so I don't have to eat with so much guilt.  Not the point, I know.

Tonight is family night.  I have turned off the T.V. since yesterday and the kids are doing that thing where they play creatively outside, gasp! That happens every time I band T.V.  So tonight we are playing glow in the dark Bocci, eating made at home subway sandwiches ( not me of course) and ending with some Uno.
I'm all caffeinated up and ready to go.  I love that they all still love Family Night. I know this will not last forever.  And certainly won't last another week if I bust out with my Jazzercise moves again. Cold Hearted Snake anyone?

Anywho, here's to another night of the beans Kirby made me ( he's so sweet and he even bought me a red cast iron dutch oven )

and a big O fat wheat roll and my kids and hubby and Jesus,  of course.

Day 23 FRAGILE

Yesterday I was extremely hungry a lot of the day. I was getting the house ready for Monday, doing some gardening, and could not seem to think straight. A foggy head kept telling me, " you need sugar!" I may have and I did eat an apple which made me feel better for about 3 minutes. During this phase of the day I told God, " I've very aware of you right now, if you want to tell me anything." The first hour or so there was silence.

 I decided to take my daughter for a walk after dinner and the fogginess cleared a bit as I concentrated on listening to her talk. She is the middle child and rarely unloads all her feelings. This evening however she was feeling honest and chatty and I listened intently. She went on for awhile about how she wanted her own room, and how much better everything would be if she had it. This is quite impossible at the time, as we have a 3 bedroom house and she has an 11 yr old sister and 6 yr old brother. I cannot justify sticking a preteen with a 6 yr old boy unless we move to a third world country and are all sleeping on cots in one room.

 Next, she lamented moving to Austin altogether and longed for her tiny yard with a fence she could climb.  Ironically, our new house has more trees than she could climb and no fence which we thought would please her most. Humph.  Claire spent the last half of our walk telling me how she was mad that we had to live in a neighborhood that didn't allow chickens or livestock of any kind. Once home she stood in the kitchen and said, "Basically I just want three things; . 1. A room of my own, 2. A shower of my own and 3. A baby of my own." A What!? This is not a little girl who ever even played with dolls.
 " So basically you want to be a grownup" I said.
 "Yes, I do, grownups get every single thing they want. Look at you Mom, you have all three of those!"
 Well not a baby right now, but that sure heightens my interest in foster/adoption, I think to myself. I tried not to laugh and to tell her thank you for sharing her feelings and to enjoy her childhood for goodness sake. I still can't quite figure out her wanting a baby except that she said she really wanted to push it down the street in a buggy, so I'm thinking she would find purpose in caring for something, which makes me smile inside and affirms my job as Mother as still very legit. 2 ligit 2 quit.

  After the walk God spoke to me. I was re potting some veggie plants, (which I started from seed!), and noticed how fragile these little guys were. I had to be so gentle I was forced to take off my gloves and get my hands all dirty to handle them with enough care.
 Now, before you think I am seamlessly transitioning into a devotion or story for Chicken Soup for the Soul, please note I am not a fan of cheese. However, because this is my story it is more raw like crunchy celery to me. I digress,...  as I forced myself to be extra gentle less I kill my baby plants He said, " These plants have no idea how much they need a bigger place to grow and better soil. All they know is where they have been and how good it was there. Just like Claire. Your children's roots are very fragile and your job is to gently nourish them so they can flourish during this transplant."

 My children like the plants, don't know what is best for them. I do, most of the time. Sometimes this means not giving them all the comforts they think they want or entertaining how the grass is greener somewhere else. I think God wants me to do my best to place them in sun (His light) and give them water (take care of their basic needs) and they will flourish before my eyes and when they do they will forget how hard the transplant was and they won't even know to say thank you for the re potting. This is okay because my joy comes from watching the process and being there ready to take my gloves off and get dirty when I need to. Thank you God for saying something to this hungry girl!
Seven more days of 7!

Day 19

I am amazingly used to my 7 foods and even crave the breakfast ones I have learned to love so much. Two pieces whole wheat toast with apple butter ( made only with apples and apple cider ) and half a sweet potato with salt and a drop of honey, topped off with 2 cups black coffee. Lunch and dinner are much the same including the rest of the foods; Chicken, spinach, avocado,and apples all piled up in different ways. Night snack is either almond milk and an apple or almond milk and a whole wheat roll. So essentially I am eating 7 foods but have added black coffee, and almond milk to what I drink. Essentially no processed foods at all, has to be the reason I feel really great. I have tons of energy during Jazzercise and I attribute that to the half sweet potato which I will keep as a staple in my life when this is over. I love you sweet potato. I have learned several things about myself through this. One being that feeling empty has brought me to appreciate the life that God can breathe into me anytime I ask. I have prayed A WHOLE LOT more. My sin seems very apparent quickly, but this is good because instead of guilt and self loathing it is dealt with because Jesus is right there and I feel His grace more quickly. Mentally I am much more clear headed and can really see what is going on around me and respond better. I am only mad at the experiment everyday around 3pm, when I am dying for a snack. Twice I tried to eat a chip that was either a sweet potato "chip" or a bean "chip." Both times I felt gross, knowing they were not whole foods and defeating the purpose of leaning into Jesus when I want something. I wasn't that hungry just snacky. Kirby has been super supportive, grilling me chicken lots of nights and making me beans. I've tried not to draw a lot of attention to my experiment, hoping I can focus on God and not make this all about me. Next month is clothes and two of my kids are saying they want to do it with me. Race is especially excited to pick 7 pieces of clothes and make sure none are jeans or have a collar.

1 week on 7

This concludes the 8th day of my 7 experience. I will not for a second have anyone thinking I have done this perfectly. I have cheated, willfully, 5 times. 3 in one day and the other two were because of baked goods I stupidly made at home for the kids. To try to survive I bought a bunch of stuff I normally don't from the grocery store today so as not to torture myself. I don't like prepackaged snacks, lunches or desserts, so I loaded up on them and the kids thought they had died and gone to heaven when they got home from school. Today I had the hunch that the only way I was going to get through 7 is to lighten up on stuff that doesn't matter in the big picture. Buying my kids a bunch of premade snacks would usually fit in the category of Big Picture but this week, it's just a means to help me out. I don't think I will cheat on 7 again for awhile, and if I do I hope it's a mistake or I have a valid reason. I realized that the reason I keep cheating is because it's hard for me to break the cycle of feeling guilty about what I eat. Not eating any bad foods, left me feeling good, but there was a void because of my constant cycle of eat bad stuff, feel bad, tell God I will eat better, recognize I don't have the kind of self control I give the impression that I do, and back to eating bad stuff after my penance ( usually the first and second parts of the day) wears off. So THAT was a huge AHA moment I wasn't expecting.

Rainy Days make you want to EAT

It's drizzling, I was in the car for over 3 hours and I didn't exercise today.  All of these factors I now know draw me to food.  I took a nap under the covers ( I never get under the covers for a nap, as that would look like I was sleeping in the middle of the day and therefore must be a lazy mom) on returning home from a day trip with Kirb.  It was one hour before the kids got home from school and I didn't know what to do with myself because I so wanted a snack and coffee with cream.  Surprisingly upon awakening my head was clear and I was good to get on with the day.  I've spent the last hour and a half making a chicken dinner with veggies that are not on my list. I will have to add some spinach to the mix and disregard the crispy peppers and carrots.  For a quick snack for my kids I pulled out the frozen oatmeal cookie dough.  Oh, the power of smell. Why oh why would a person who is doing 7 pull out homemade cookie dough, when there are perfectly good Oreos that I hate in the pantry to give my after school snack monsters.  To make it a bit worse, they wanted the Oreos, NOT the homemade delicious Pioneer Woman Oatmeal Crisps. I stared them down and stuffed all the cookies in a zip lock and made my son take them to the neighbors who unfortunately are not home, so the cookies are still staring at me. I had to stare at them while I made dinner and finally I grabbed one and took a bite. Not worth it. Being it's only day 3 the guilt set in quick, my stomach did a flip and I knew Mariah had done no such thing this early on.  My lack of self control is embarrassing.  God quickly reminded me this experiment is about me and Him and that he forgives me and to just drink my black coffee and get over it. Yes, I'm still drinking coffee. Black coffee.
On a very positive note, I am learning to love the small grumblings going on in my tummy. I know I have eaten enough and it has been good for me, my tummy however is talking back.  It's kinda fun to know I've done something different and my body knows it.

7

I'm reading Jen Hatmaker's new book 7.  I'm doing the 7 experiment  and I'm on day 2.  In short, for 7 months I will try to eliminate excess in my life, and the first month focuses on food.  I have picked 7 foods and will try my dangest to only eat these 7 for the next four weeks. My partner in this insanity is Mariah and we are both blogging about it.  My foods are 1. Chicken 2. Apples 3. Sweet Potatoes 4. Spinach 5. whole wheat Bread 6. Avocado 7. Beans.
I realized early today that I had totally forgot to really pray about how God wanted me to to do this. I felt He was clear that I am not Jen Hatmaker and my experiment will and should look different. Therefore, I'm not feeling bad for putting all natural apple butter on my toast because what I really want on it is butter and I ordered a Chipoltle Chicken sandwich at Panera and took off the cheese and tomatoes but still kinda tasted them and it made me very happy.  I have purposely kept dairy and nuts from my 7 foods in anticipation of the effect on my waist line.  
You can read more about Hatmaker's book at www.jenhatmaker.com, I'd love to know your thoughts!